adampants (badadam) wrote,
adampants
badadam

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An Open Letter To My Friends Page

Dear Friends Page,

I'm really getting tired of your shit. Every day, usually multiple times throughout, I click my Bookmarks link in Mozilla in hopes that you will have something entertaining, insightful, or even relatively un-annoying to read that will help me pass the time while I am procrastinating my work. However, I am almost consistently disappointed, with few exceptions, and am currently considering your dismissal from the position of 4th link to the right on my Bookmarks bar. I am not quite yet to the point of removing your parenting user from LiveJournal, but I fear the end is near. If you wish to continue our relationship, you may want to consider informing your occupants that you wish them to stop whining, bitching, and moaning about things that they would have the uppermost control over if they would just take a second to stop complaining and do something about their problems for once. Keep in mind that some people do have actual issues that they are working on, and give them credit for such things, but we cannot withstand dwelling on certain subjects that are mere instruments of self-pity devised to provide drama and masochistic entertainment in otherwise bland and uninteresting lives. I will also be removing your parent user from all currently involved communities, as they just provide more clutter than content. I'm sure you, as well as I, were tired of seeing pictures of people's cats, and pixilated shots of cam-whore tits. As you also make the added effort of displaying my personal entries, I will make a great effort to do my part and not post anything without great consideration, if at all. I hope that you are able to work out all of your personal issues, and understand that I do appreciate you, as useless and agitating as you may be. If at any time you feel that you are unable to perform your duties as a Friends Page, I will fully understand. I'm sure it's not easy to have your entire existence plagued with such misery and senseless crap. I wish you all the luck in the world, and my God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Adam
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